Book: Reflections

Reflections - bringing attention to your daily life by Désirée Steinmann

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Reflections of the Week

Anyone can change!

2014-01-21 16:32 (comments: 0)

Hello and welcome to the year 2014! Nice to be back with you all. And as is customary with the beginning of the new year, many of you are bound to have made some New Year’s resolutions. Have you? What have you resolved to change to make your life better? Are you still at it or have you given up already?

"You can’t teach an old dog new tricks." I have often heard this saying from my clients and friends.

Is this true?

What do you think?

Is it possible to permanently change one’s behaviour?

When trying to answer this question we must first try to understand how behavioural patterns come about. In most cases, a pattern is formed by repetition and conditioning influenced by our environment, our culture and our experiences. We learn the behavioural patterns in order to be accepted in our society or to demonstrate that we are different from it, depending on what is important to us. And if we assume that we have learnt these patterns, we can also assume that it is possible to un-learn them.

Everyone can change. It depends only on the reasons why we want to change. Incidentally, this is an important issue here: the willingness to change. Changes don’t happen easily and don’t go deep enough if we are supposed to alter our behaviour to satisfy other people’s wishes. The deepest changes happen when we act on the intrinsic type of motivation – the one that comes from ourselves. And as you know, sufficient motivation is the key to success.

If I want to change anything, I have to be crystal clear about WHY I want it. If I can’t say why I want to change something with genuine enthusiasm, it means I 'm not really ready to change my old, fossilized behaviour. In such case my wish is just a dream or an idea, but not a real intention.

I invite you to take a moment to make a list of the things that you would like to change. Write a few sentences to justify each of the points and see for yourself how enthusiastic and committed you really are. Describe your reasons in detail and with real enthusiasm, and visualize how reaching your goal will positively influence your future. If you find it difficult to justify any of the points, consider removing it from your list.

Each change process requires energy and attention, and you will be able to make it only if you are motivated enough.

And if you experience self-doubt or if you lose courage, simply read your list again to recharge your strength and regain focus.

I wish you a lot of fun changing!


To change one's life:  1. Start immediately.  2. Do it flamboyantly.  3. No exceptions.

William James


The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.

Oliver Wendell Holmes


Never doubt that you can change history. You already have.

Marge Piercy

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