Book: Reflections

Reflections - bringing attention to your daily life by Désirée Steinmann

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Reflections of the Week

Are You Doer or Victim?

2013-09-10 15:38 (comments: 0)

John, a sales & marketing manager, is describing in a discussion how uncomfortable his current situation is. His department was restructured and several of his employees were released. He grudgingly goes to the office and avoids contact with the affected employees as much as possible since he feels helpless in the current situation. He is a victim of the situation and also views the released employees as victims.
Martin is listening intriguingly and subsequently pipes up: "I can understand how you are feeling. I am in the same situation but I see things differently! I can't change anything regarding the released employees but I can do a lot for them, so it goes as well as it can go. Instead of brooding about something where we have no influence, we should concentrate on that which we can do. I now seek more contact than ever, motivate, discuss possibilities, point to the strengths of the employees, and ask about interests and abilities that perhaps were not lived up to. Instead of just agreeing financially, we discuss possible assistance for the reorientation such as re-education and coaching for career planning. We have agreed not to complain about the situation but to focus our thinking and actions on that which we can actually do!"
I ask you now in which situations in your life are you remaining in the victim role? Do you want to change something? Focus you attention on that which you can do and assume self-responsibility! Already you are seeing possibilities, thinking more positively and improving the situation considerably. Become the doer and not the victim!
I wish you an action filled week...


Much as we complain about our condition or feel victimized by fortune or fellow humans, we simply love being alive. We love life in others and in ourselves. We are in love with life. To love life is to love the activities of which it consists and to hope for more. 

John Lachs


Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. 

Harvey Fierstein


This human tendency to look for outer causes for our moods is the greatest addiction on our planet.

Richard Rudd


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