Book: Reflections

Reflections - bringing attention to your daily life by Désirée Steinmann

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Reflections of the Week

Do you fit in or do you stand out?

2012-11-10 14:51 (comments: 0)

As I was growing up I often heard that I should adapt myself more and not march as much to a different drummer. In school, for example, because I was sometimes louder or less settled than my colleagues, or simply could not wait until it was my turn. Then, when we moved to Bavaria, some thought I should talk Bavarian and not high German in order to fit in. To this day, I did not really learn it and never really had the desire to do so. I did not smoke when my girlfriends started smoking in 7th grade and at first they thought I did not belong to the group. Soon, however, I was cool because I was different and did not have to join everything nor did I have to feel as an outsider. Suddenly everyone thought I was particularly strong. (By the way that is not true!) I just found it difficult to bend over backwards.

Even so, I often had the feeling not to be good enough, not to suffice and sometimes had a very low self-esteem. Most people have that feeling every now and then. One day, during my coaching education, I had an instructor who saw me exactly as I am without judging me. He asked me why I hold back so often. Why, again and again, I take a step backwards when he saw that that I liked to take a front row seat and wanted to discuss things or try something. I looked at him and felt caught. He smiled and asked me if I do this because I see others and want to leave space for them, or because I believe that it was expected from me.

At this point he opened my eyes. Often I defer to someone else even when I would like to spontaneously and energetically push forward but I hold back because I think I am not allowed to do that. My instructor then gave me a citation from Marianne Williamson, which now hangs here in my office and which has helped me to decide on my own if I should adapt or if I should stand out from the crowd. It reads:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you
not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”

How do you stand out from the crowd? What makes you a wonderful, remarkable and fantastic person? When was the last time you thought about your gift to the world for which you absolutely have to live for because you only can give this? Put it into words! Manifest it! Then you will begin to believe in it yourself! I invite you to describe in a few words what makes you special and write it in the blog as a commentary. I look forward to hearing/reading from you!





Don’t give people that which they want, give them what they never dared to dream about.


Diana Vreeland



A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor.


Benjamin Franklin



Mediocrity is the wrong measure.


Erhard H. Bellermann



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