There are three ways to show admiration:

1.      We put the admired person on a pedestal and look up to him or her. By doing this one often feels “smaller and less important” and the other person becomes an idol, a superman almost. This creates a gap and imbalance and often is quite uncomfortable for the other person.

2.      One focuses the admiration or the praise on oneself, becoming the judge and the value-setter. “I like your dress”, “I find you interesting”, “I liked your presentation very much”. Here the complimenting person draws the attentions to themselves, becoming the benchmark for the value. Meanwhile, the person receiving the compliment probably feels more assessed than admired.

3.      One admires or praises without bringing oneself into the picture.  This way the attention is focused completely on the complimented person. Naturally, the person giving praise still expresses his or her opinion only this time it doesn’t sound like an assessment but as appreciation. “Your dress really brings out the color of your eyes”. “You explain these procedures in such an interesting way. Your presentation was remarkably coherent and spot-on”.

Which of these three ways of showing admiration and giving praise do you like best? How would you like to be admired and praised?  How often do you show people admiration and give praise? Or are you too stressed out to even notice things that deserve praise, let alone to express it?

It is truly amazing how the posture changes when we express our admiration and praise sincerely, not just by saying trivial things like “well done”, but when we give a heart-felt, genuine compliment.  You will be surprised how much can be achieved by genuine appreciation! Make many people smile this week and make them proud of themselves and admire the results!

P.S. My brother has sent me an excellent video to go with this issue. “Michael, you always take such wonderful care of people in your life and you find things that either touch people or make them happy. You are great!”

Quotes

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.                   

Margaret Cousins

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

John F. Kennedy

Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it.

Jess Lair