Book: Reflections

Reflections - bringing attention to your daily life by Désirée Steinmann

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Reflections of the Week

The power of the threshold

2012-04-28 09:00 (comments: 0)

How does it happen that often we don’t react to an uncomfortable or disturbing situation until it reaches a point where we decide that we’ve had enough and we can’t take it anymore? Once we decide that that was the last straw, it becomes very easy to change things that previously seemed impossible to change.

Here are a few examples:

A client of mine has a demanding job, a husband who, like herself, also has a demanding job, and two little children who need a lot of her attention. This client, let’s call her Karin, used to try to juggle all these responsibilities and to make everybody happy. The result was that she got more and more stressed, and when some changes in the company created more work for her, she decided that that was the last straw and she couldn’t do this anymore. She wasn’t able to cope with the constant stress and the ever-present bad conscience. She went to her boss and told him that she would be able to continue working only if she was allowed to work from home a couple of days a week. She explained that her family suffered too much because of her workload and that she would be much more efficient if she could work from home. Once she said it, she expected to get fired or at least a get a pitiful smile from her boss, but nothing like that happened.

Many years ago when I still worked in sales, I was at a trade fair where one of the visitors approached me with a very inappropriate offer which had nothing to do with business.  He made it clear that he was interested in me sexually and I had no wish to be spoken to like that. I communicated this to him very directly and I left him standing there, and I turned my attention to the serious potential customers.
I was only 24 back then and I was at the trade fair together with my boss. Normally I would have tried to find a solution to such situation, but that time I didn’t, and I didn’t budge an inch even under the pressure from my boss.
About one hour later the same man came to us again and acted as if nothing had happened. He talked to me in a very respectful and professional way and we had a very interesting discussion about our products.  In the end, he became one of my best customers. We never spoke of that incident again and his behavior towards me was always respectful and full of appreciation.

When we get to the point where we are completely behind our actions and when we have accepted all possible consequences, we become very authentic and convincing. The internal conflict and the indecision make room for clear attitude and clear opinions. The other people also see that there is nothing more to negotiate and this helps to take the decisions. Everything becomes very simple and easy.


How can you use the power of the threshold?

What must happen for you to reach the point when enough is enough and decision is taken?

When does your internal conflict stop to make room for clarity and resolve?


Just because we've been dealt a certain hand, it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above - to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.

Stephenie Meyer

I've arrived at this outermost edge of my life by my own actions. Where I am is thoroughly unacceptable. Therefore, I must stop doing what I've been doing.

Alice Koller

People who are 'ready' give off a different vibe than people who aren't. Animals can smell fear; maybe that's it.
The minute you become ready is the the minute you stop dreaming. Suddenly it's no longer about 'becoming'. Suddenly it's about 'doing'.

Hugh Macleod

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