Book: Reflections

Reflections - bringing attention to your daily life by Désirée Steinmann

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Reflections of the Week

Who do you think you are?

2012-10-05 16:56 (comments: 0)

„You are not good enough. You are too fat. Who do you think you are? You are never going to be able to pull this off. Look at you, you are a looser. Nobody likes you. Nobody wants to spend time with you!”

“Stop it! This is absolutely shocking!” said my client after I was finished with my statements. “Nobody is ever allowed to talk to me that way” and I could only agree with her. Even so, this is what she was telling herself all the time.

We did an exercise where she was sitting in front of a mirror, looking at herself - her own image - and telling herself all the things that always are going on in her head when she is trying to accomplish something, or when she is approaching people she has never met, or otherwise stepping out of her comfort zone. All these nasty things that she would never allow anybody to say to her, except that the person who should be closest, who lives with her everyday, who impacts her every moment of her life, was doing exactly that: talking to herself in a way that was absolutely unacceptable. She has been her own worst enemy, repeating these demotivating and self-limiting statements repeatedly. Now, when I read all these statement back to her, she could listen to them and feel the negative impact. She felt angry, upset, but also ready to defend herself! She made a conscious decision not to let this happen anymore!

As this monologue had been going on for many years, she couldn’t just stop it, but she made a commitment to herself to write them down every time they came up again. Once on paper, she could then take a look at them. When they where sabotaging her, she would replace them with positive and motivating statements, which she often spoke out loud, in order  to hear them - loud and clear.

When we had our next conversation, she told me about her new beliefs that she had collected in the meantime: “I am worth it! I look great! My husband, my kids and my family love me. I love myself! I have good friends who care for me. I am interested to get to know other people and they are open to meet me too. I want to try it and I believe I can do it! I am who I am!”

What kind of monologue is going on in your head? Do you like what you are telling yourself? If not, use this week and write down the negative statements as they arise. Choose different statements and observe how your life changes with the quality of your monologue!

Quotes

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.

Joan Didion

 

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.

 Confucius

 

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.

 Lucille Ball

 

Movie

Today I have a movie for you that I produces as part of a free training video series for the VIP TEAM marketing. While making these videos I was fighting with my inner voice that tried to stop me and tell me off ... now the video is out and I feel a big load taken off my sholders. I have learned a lot and will do more. Hope you enjoy it and if you like what you see, you can sign up to get the other free videos as well! http://www.vip-startup.com/

 

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