Book: Reflections

Reflections - bringing attention to your daily life by Désirée Steinmann

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Reflections of the Week

Your Personal Quality Checklist - Part 1: Values

2015-01-30 12:49 (comments: 0)

The coaching session I had today with a new client has given me the idea to invite you all to participate in the process of making your own Personal Quality Checklist. In her test session (which I offer to all potential clients who seriously consider working with me, for details look here) she asked me what are the biggest takeaways of my clients from their coaching sessions with me.

To be honest, it is difficult to answer this question because every person is different and the benefits are very individual. However, there is one thing that comes back in feedback from many of my clients: they are all very enthusiastic about the Personal Quality Checklist.   

Let me explain what it is. Your Personal Quality Checklist consists of your core values, your needs and your beliefs which act like your operating system. They drive your choices in life and that will define if you feel happy and fulfilled or not. If I asked you today: “What are the core values which you want to follow in your life? What are the values which are genuinely your own, not instilled, borrowed or conditioned?” – would you be able to answer?

Seriously, think about it for a moment and write them down.

It is mindboggling how few people are able to give clear answers to these questions.  What is more interesting is that they take decisions every day hoping that their intuition leads them in the right direction.

Problem is that often we are under pressure from other people and their expectations and we are uncertain what to do, and only after the fact we wish we had decided differently. Sometimes we are facing many possibilities but lack a reliable method which would help us to choose the right direction.  But if you can compare your decisions against the list of your core values you will be always able to take the decisions which are aligned with them, and therefore right for you.

Coaching offers many ways of creating your Personal Quality Checklist. One way is to look back into your past and find the ‘perfect’ moments. They can help us identify the values which we lived back then. In coaching, I discuss these critical moments with my clients and help them extract their values from them.

Another way is to take a list of values and mark the values which resonate with us (both positive and negative). Then, ask the following three questions. Let’s take the word “Respect” as an example:

Question 1: What does “respect” mean for me?

Question 2: What does it not meant?

Question 3: What examples of situations where I experience respect can I find in my life?

Our core values are deeply rooted in us and we will always resist and oppose anything that goes clearly against them.

Often our core values manifest themselves strongly already in teenage years but they might not be recognised as values so early in life.

If you want to think about and create your own list with core values then you can find a PDF with instructions here.

On this list you will also find hints on how to recognise the hierarchy of your values.

The core values are the first building block of your Personal Quality Checklist. In the next Reflexions blog we will discuss the second one: the needs.

I look forward to it!

 

Quotes

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.

Marshall Rosenberg

 

Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values.

Ayn Rand

 

Reason and emotion are not antagonists. What seems like a struggle is a struggle between two opposing ideas or values, one of which, automatic and unconscious, manifests itself in the form of a feeling.

Nathaniel Brandon

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